As Good As It Gets.

I watched Safe House in theater a couple of weeks ago. One quote that remained with me occurs when Denzel Washington's character, Tobin Frost, is enjoying his favorite red wine with an old friend, Carlos Villar. Carlos remarks "That red wine tastes as good as its ever going to taste." There is truth and wisdom to that quote. All of the things which elude us, that we pursue and only hold for a blink of time, they are as good as they will ever be.

This is something we can either take refuge in or despair over. This banana I'm eating for breakfast is likely as good as any banana will ever taste. This is easy enough to get over, though, because it is just a banana and hardly the crux of my very existence. But when we tie lofty goals to this truth, our thought process may very well become turned upon its head. This rings especially true in my scenario, the same scenario as all of my classmates. We are contractually forfeiting this year of our lives, in a sense, to make better our times ahead. Though it may be intoxicating, I must try hard to remember that there is no golden chalice to acquire. The majesty of living is ever present. The majesty of living is thus.

To those who would despair upon realizing this, I would say this: instead of being bothered that the mystique of future endeavor is removed, take pleasure in all of these simple things now. This merlot tastes as good in an entry level apartment as it will taste in Paris, France. This bicycle ride in Cape Canaveral can be just as joyous as one in Australia. Life is happening in every moment. Do not be absent because you wish to attend life at a later, more lustrous date. The present is the only time we are promised. All of the laughs you have elicited from your friends, love it now. When a baby giggles at you, enjoy that now. There may be no better time.

I'm Wrong and Ignorant and Thankful.

There was a time in my life when I, like many people, tried to nail down reality. I wanted to keep it in place, so that whatever knowledge I acquired would always be true, and I would always be right. Since I began studying Buddhism four years ago, however, I've learned a lot about reality and the fluid nature of what we consider to be truths versus untruths. 

1. I'm wrong.

I'm wrong because I am not right. I now strive to understand reality instead of conquering it with righteousness. What does being right ever afford anyone, other than the ephemeral feeling of righteousness? Just like any sensation, righteousness is fleeting. I find myself arguing less and less at this point in my life. I am much more inclined to open a true dialogue of understanding and simply gain the perspective of the person opposing me. Try being wrong, I assure you there is not so much to lose in the endeavor. You may even find that life is less stressful, more enjoyable, when you do not carry with you the inclination to be righteous.

2. I'm ignorant.

Because of the fluid nature of this life, truth is ever changing. Though some truths are static, such as scientific laws and math, people are different. All of the reality that people create is also fluid. Because of this perpetual shape shifting state of things, it has become my imperative to simply embrace my ignorance. I don't mean to be purposefully ignorant, but find it less damaging that feigning knowledge. This is very conducive to playing well with others, because people change. They change a lot. If you try to nail down someone's identity, you will only find yourself shocked when they change their behavior, as we all have a tendency of doing.

Some of the wisest people I have had the pleasure of meeting have been at peace with stating "I don't know" if they truly do not. What is life, or its purpose? Sometimes it is okay to say "I don't know." We're all mere mortals, trying to find a worthwhile way to spend our allotted time. I won't spend that time deceiving myself and others by claiming to know things I do not.

3. Thankful.

I'm becoming increasingly aware of my own inner dialogue and its nature of generating self-pity or complaint within me. As I see these negative dialogues arising, I must redirect the ship, and so I remind myself that I can breathe, I can run, I can smile, and I'm capable of making my own happiness or contentment. We cannot all be happy all of the time, but we can achieve a level of understanding and reassure ourselves that, though we may be unhappy in a particular moment, the unhappy feeling will pass.

I'm thankful for the incredible variation that life gives me. Nothing is ever mundane to me any longer. Every day is a subtle variation from the last. When we believe that each day is the same and that life has lost its luster, it is because we have allowed the inner dialogue of self pity to sink its hooks deep into our conscience. With awareness we can stave off this unsavory dialogue.

Much of being wrong, ignorant, and thankful has to do with relinquishing some of our ego. If you approach each day with the mentality that you have something to prove, or you must be someone you are not, or be a particular way for other people, you then acquiesce to an unhappy disingenuous lifestyle. Be authentic, be human. This may portend that you are not always right, but being right is a hollow pursuit. It may also portend claiming some level of ignorance, but in the vast world of knowledge before us, it is only logical that we do not know everything. Finally, be thankful! We are allotted this time alive in these mortal bodies, and no one can say for sure what lies beyond that allotment of time. It would serve us well to acknowledge the great pleasure we get to experience in simply being able to be alive and experience the great adventure of reality.

What Are You Waiting For?

What are you waiting for? America is once again at that lovely juncture in time where we find ourselves knee-deep in libel, half-truths and all-out badgering our fellow man based on their beliefs and political affiliations. It is a time that I have a tendency of loathing, as there is a lot of ignorance on display. Beneath the thick veil of politic, there is something else with a beating pulse which disenfranchises me from my fellow man.

As we all continue forth, we want certain things from these presidential candidates as if they are ice cream vendors and we are the neighborhood kids screeching as we run toward the ice cream van, ready for the hand out. This kid will have the green energy initiative bar, that one over there will have the domestic oil drilling sandwich, and this guy in the back wants an end the Federal Reserve pop. I am glad we of able body are all kids again, but I hope that we're returning home to our sandboxes to toil constructively toward a better tomorrow in addition to shouting for your favorite variation of political ice cream.

I don't really dig politics: it's a crooked game, and a lot of the loudest political bullhorns in the crowd are also the ones least willing to employ some degree of equanimity - you know, look at the perspective of those who disagree with you. I don't really dig precluding half of my possibilities of political action based on identifying either as Republican or Democrat, either. So I digress. 

Foremost, I don't dig politics because we are people, as the majority, are plenty able to make changes if we start with ourselves and encourage it in others. If we want to make our streams less toxic, we can dispose of our waste more consciously, on a personal level. If we want cheaper gas prices, we can buy a more efficient vehicle, drive less, bike more, and/or don't stamp so hard on the accelerator. 

Before we ever cast our malcontent outward to pollute the consciences of those around us, we can ask ourselves what we can do on a personal level to make life better. The world is not out to vex you, lad who seeks political ice cream. The world is here for you to thrive in and you have all the basic tools to do just that. The fact that so many people condemn our government but then continually return to the voting trough expecting change that will better their personal lives is comical. 

To engage so fervently in politics, I surmise you do it for one of two prominent reasons: a) on a subconscious level, you have yet to realize you can evoke meaningful change in your own life and become a better person or b) you seek to gain something without making a significant effort to obtain it. This applies to you, whether you are blue or red. And just for the record, both sides scream for entitlement, the packaging just looks different.

When I was an infant I nearly died due to peritonitis - an infection of my abdominal cavity. A surgery was performed that was not believed to work, and yet it did, and I am here with no deficit to speak of. I won't ruin this second chance I've been given by bellowing like a curmudgeon on a daily basis about how this president is a failure and the next guy is going to be a savior; not while I'm perfectly capable of doing what I must to make my own existence meaningful and happy.

And for the people who may retort that there are so many freeloaders, or militant conservatives, or radical progressives out there ruining "their America", well, maybe you should focus on the state of your own front porch instead of the other guy's, because I guarantee there is something we can all do right now to be better people. When you get shoved by someone having a bad day in the subway, smile back and say "good morning". You have nothing to lose. Next time you want dwell on your weight or health problems (short of congenital or irreversible issues), make a better eating decision and try walking more. There is so much we can all do.

And please, for the love of all the tiny cuddly creatures on this planet, don't ever sit there and wallow in self-pity and then project that self-loathing outward in the form of political loudness. To quote a character named Nagasawa in a book I just read, "Don't ever sit around feeling sorry for yourself - only assholes do that."

What are you waiting for? Rise today and be a better person. Smile more, take yourself less seriously, and please stop posting obnoxious and ill-informed political commentary on Facebook. Consider both sides of the coin.

Have a good day. :)

Salve for the Hotel Dweller.

March is rapidly approaching, and that will mark my fourth month of being in the same room of the same hotel in Florida. I look around at my other classmates, I hear what they say, and I begin to feel that I am much more at peace with my situation than many of my classmates are. That being said, I still find myself lamenting to classmates how I am ready to be deployed, so that my one year contract can finally begin, so that I may get on with the rest of my life's plans afterward. This lament is a diabolical trap I've played on myself, however, allowing my thoughts to dwell on the future and disregard the present moments I spend dwelling in this hotel room.

These 'idle' months in the hotel matter just as much as any months enjoyed beyond the reach of this one year contract. Moment by moment, I am still responsible for my well-being, and then responsible for being a good human being toward others. That never changes, regardless of living situation. Perhaps it has been more tricky to eat well and do so cheaply with only a microwave to cook food, but if that is my greatest hurdle, I ought to live to see tomorrow. The long term plans I have are excellent at motivating me to continue forth with great effort, but allowing my mind to live in those future moments would be a disservice to my present self; to reality itself.

It should have been obvious from the start of this stint in the hotel that these moments matter just as much as any others, but the acquisition of such wisdom, however modest, usually takes time, and ultimately, reflection. As I type this, the Florida sun burns bright as it has since I've been here. Now is the perfect moment to go and enjoy it.

Miscellany: Kumquats, Star Wars, and Whitney.

After a brief hiatus filled with many thoughts (none of which seemed to regard blogging or reflection) I have a few pedantic updates about my life to indulge my modest viewership in.

Kumquats

I picked up some kumquats at a local whole foods store here in Cape Canaveral, FL (yes, still living in a hotel in FL - 3 months strong) for lunch today. Just so you know, the video I watched on how to eat kumquats prior to eating these kumquats informed me that they are a symbol of affluence in China. As for the diminutive fruits themselves? Scrape off the stem, roll the kumquat in your hands to release the essential oils, then eat it whole, seeds optional (I eat mine). Kumquats are a significant source of vitamin C and fiber, and the oils released when you roll the 'quats in your hands are good for the skin.

Star Wars

I watched Episode I in 3D in theaters over the weekend, which in turn compelled me to engage in a Star Wars marathon going in the "new" order: Phantom Menace; Attack of the Clones; Revenge of the Sith; A New Hope; Empire Strikes Back; and Return of the Jedi. This is the first time I have watched Episode I since its first theater release, which means it is the first time I have watched the movie since I began to practice Buddhism. I did not recall there being so many Buddhist references in Star Wars! Recognizing this made me have a deeper appreciation for it, admittedly.

In Episode I, Qui-Gon Jinn is constantly reminding Obi-Wan to 'remain in the moment.' The Force is interpreted in ways similar to the workings of karma. The dark side is similar to samsara without mindfulness, becoming enveloped in anger/fear/rage. In Episode II, prior to the Jedi council mobilizing against Dooku's forces, Yoda states he must 'meditate' on his next action.

Ever since I observed this, I decided to seek some form of validation of my observations utilizing the innerwebz. Here's what I found(!):

http://www.astro.ucla.edu/~chris/buddhist.html

http://www.livingdharma.org/Real.World.Buddhism/StarWars-Brenion.html

And there is even a book on this very subject: http://www.livingdharma.org/Real.World.Buddhism/StarWars-Brenion.html

The above is written by an ordained member of Thich Nhat Hanh's sangha who just so also happens to be a really big Star Wars geek.

And finally...

Whitney Houston
Many people are tired of reading about her, many have reiterated her accolades, and still many others have taken her death as an opportunity to condemn her post mortem. I will keep this short and say that dying is our last grasp upon dignity, and to berate anyone beyond the grave means you simply don't mind attacking someone who is defenseless. Perhaps we should leave the dignity of death intact, regardless of how one person lived their life and regardless of whether or not you agreed with it.

Until next time!