Resolutions Are Bullshit.

After I watched Fight Club for the first time, several realizations occurred. The first was that I wanted to be like Tyler Durden; I wanted to give the middle finger to conventionality; I wanted to be free at any juncture. I'm not there yet. Yet.

The second realization was that I wanted Brad Pitt's body, circa Fight Club. Or hell, circa Snatch - that would be fine too.

At some point in my 20s I sold myself the lie that I was a runner, and a runner only. That's all I had ever been, and I had a knack for being that rare breed of runner that didn't get injured. The problem with this lie was this: in acquiescing that I was a runner, I ruled out the possibility that I could be strong. I've always been thin, so I reasoned that I had to fall in line with the lie: I'm thin, so I must be a runner. I'm thin, so I can't be strong.

New Year's Resolutions are bullshit.

You've heard the wise cracks in the past about the resolutioner who gets the gym membership and then fades out from the routine two to three months into the new year. It's not just the gym stuff - it's most resolutions. Resolutions are bullshit.

Why wait 365 days to make yourself better?

It's not human nature to force a radical change upon yourself on a set day and hope to stick to it.

1 January is just another day, not unlike 18 April. Or 20 September.

Each day provides the same foothold; the same opportunity to get better.

Getting older isn't license to give up. It's license to get better.

So get better.

Change occurs when you get sick of something. Remember that shitty relationship? When you finally had enough of it, you got out of it. Or maybe you're in one now and want to get out, and if that feeling stays, you will, eventually. 

Everyone has a bullshit threshold. People pore over the idea of changing but given enough inflammation toward any given thing, change will occur. It's a law of human nature.

So when you're ready to make the radical change - surprise! - you will. Sometimes time doesn't move as fast as you want it to.

I sold myself the lie that I couldn't be strong. Now I can squat 300 pounds. I can deadlift 425 pounds. It's not revolutionary, and it's not a generational feat. But for me, given where I was, it's unprecedented.

This is me around this time last year in Baghdad. I even posted this pic before on this blog to show my strength training "progress".

Skinny guy. I began barbell training. Over the past year I've clung to barbells and the four big lifts. No preacher curls, lat pulldowns, tricep extensions. Just the big lifts. Get stronger and your body will reflect that, was the mantra.

This is me now.

The change didn't occur because of some gimmicky diet pill, fad diet, or ephemeral workout plan. The change occurred because I was ready for it. The change occurred because I'm a stubborn son of a bitch. I don't need to wait for others to motivate me. I can go out and get it myself.

It was a matter of putting in the work. Deadlifts, dips, pullups, burpees, pushups, planks, squats, press, bench press, clean & jerk, bent barbell rows. I still run, but when I run, I run fast. I sprint. I don't do long slow duration. I did that for 15 years with little to show for it.

When I want cardio I lift faster. Deadlifts, drop the barbell and move immediately into burpees. Squats, move immediately into pullups and dips. Simple, hard work.

So when you're ready, when you really believe the change is necessary, you'll make it. But you can't manufacture the resolve on a given day. 1 January is sabotage.

I don't have Brad Pitt's body yet. But I will. What I once felt was an unobtainable pipe dream is tangible now. Even as I age, it's tangible.

I'm not sold on the lie that I'm a runner, that I can't be strong.

What lies are you selling to yourself?

You can be those pictures you look at.

You can learn that unlearnable thing.

You can languish or you can thrive. That's the choice you have to make in every moment.

So make it.