March is rapidly approaching, and that will mark my fourth month of being in the same room of the same hotel in Florida. I look around at my other classmates, I hear what they say, and I begin to feel that I am much more at peace with my situation than many of my classmates are. That being said, I still find myself lamenting to classmates how I am ready to be deployed, so that my one year contract can finally begin, so that I may get on with the rest of my life's plans afterward. This lament is a diabolical trap I've played on myself, however, allowing my thoughts to dwell on the future and disregard the present moments I spend dwelling in this hotel room.
These 'idle' months in the hotel matter just as much as any months enjoyed beyond the reach of this one year contract. Moment by moment, I am still responsible for my well-being, and then responsible for being a good human being toward others. That never changes, regardless of living situation. Perhaps it has been more tricky to eat well and do so cheaply with only a microwave to cook food, but if that is my greatest hurdle, I ought to live to see tomorrow. The long term plans I have are excellent at motivating me to continue forth with great effort, but allowing my mind to live in those future moments would be a disservice to my present self; to reality itself.
It should have been obvious from the start of this stint in the hotel that these moments matter just as much as any others, but the acquisition of such wisdom, however modest, usually takes time, and ultimately, reflection. As I type this, the Florida sun burns bright as it has since I've been here. Now is the perfect moment to go and enjoy it.
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