You can't squeeze your eyes shut to everything.
No plugging the ears and attempting to la la la until it passes.
Sometimes, when you no longer see yourself as the hero of your own drama, expecting victory after victory, and you understand deeply that this is not paradise... somehow we're, especially the privileged ones that we are, we somehow embrace the notion that this veil of tears, that it's perfectable, that you're going to get it all straight. I've found that things became a lot easier when I no longer expected to win. - Leonard Cohen ("I'm Your Man" Documentary)
You are not the main character. There is no fatalistic bias toward your eventual victory. Do you fancy yourself as a hero? I think that heroes are fictional. I think we are a composition of darkness and light. I think the composition changes by the day. Some days I am 75% light.
Some days I am bad.
"That you're going to get it all straight."
This resonates. To this point in my life I have obliged to seek truth. I never find truth; and if I do, it is fleeting. Truth is shapeless. Truth comes in so many forms.
I have seized glimpses of the truth in rare occasions in my life.
Could I have seized truth by sitting in front of a TV instead of reading books?
From gossiping instead of running?
Video games instead of conversation?
These questions are irrelevant. The point is that nothing can really be appraised. No one can be judged. Without living the collective experiences of the person I am judging, how could I possibly deduce what is right or wrong in what they are doing?
Perhaps we behave as we do, irrationally and otherwise, to stay sane. Or perhaps less dramatic, we make the decisions we make to try and maintain happiness.
My most recent 8tracks playlist - Cosmic Ripple
Until next time.
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