Hello, I'm 28!

You need to know something about me, and you need to know it now: I am 28 years old. I have pondered this age for the last few idle moments, and I have never considered 28 to be a hallmark year in my life. I never fancied myself as a 28 year old at the pinnacle of anything, or that the age in itself would represent some sort of pinnacle. Yet here I am, ruminating upon this interesting age. At 28 years old, I am so happy. At 28 years old, I love everyone who is in my life and those who have departed it. I think of everyone fondly. All of you so human with your own fears and dreams and reservations and ultimately your freedoms and hopes.

It occurred to me last night that freedom is the ultimate gift. It is tantamount to all meaningful life. Freedom begets life. It is with the opportune moments that freedom yields that we are able to carve out a meaningful existence. In this passing relationship of Kimlee and I, I learned that yielding personal gain for the sake of freedom for someone else is a far greater deed than whatever avenue could be taken in selfish endeavor. The stabbing pain of loss eroded as I realized that letting go was the great enabler, and now she is free, as I am, and we cannot be unhappy when we are free.

There are times when, even in a state of true freedom, we do not realize that we are free. We are captivated by demons of worry, by fears which rarely ever manifest, and by the popular culture of society which is paper-thin in depth and meaning.

I am 28 years old and I am leaving. I am going away to Iraq to work as a contracted paramedic for a year for an independent company. I may be gone for two years. When I go, wherever I go, I will be free. My freedom, my liberation, begins with a breath. The breath unlocks a gaze of ever-presence as I see everything around me for the first time, again. Freedom is abound in the multitudinous sensations of existing. I feel gentle breezes, warmth, cold, tingling, relief, pain, and release.

While I am gone, I will use this blog to document my time away. I want to stay close to you all as I am away, and this is perhaps the most healing way for me to do so.

Did you know that all I have ever truly wanted to do is be a writer? I became a firefighter in part because of childhood desire (thanks, uncle) but also because of the absolute deluge of experiences which would be at my disposal when I finally put ink to paper. I did not account for the rupturous amounts of growth that would ensue as I worked as a firefighter, an EMT, and a paramedic during those years. In that time I bore witness to raw human emotion, loss, depravity, hope, and fellowship. I have met the very best and the very worst of people in my time as a firefighter and paramedic.

I will write, I will be safe, and I will keep in touch. Likewise, you may keep in touch with me on Facebook, Twitter, or here. I plan to update regularly. (Don't I always plan to?)

Namaste,
Dustin