Feeling Worse, Getting Better.

I am still reading "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck, while simultaneously entertaining two other books. I've found a great deal of information to consider since I cracked the book a little over a week ago.

I want to talk about personal improvements. It seems people, by and large, have a fairly concrete understanding of what it takes to improve oneself in a physical capacity. The individual exerts a healthy level of stress unto oneself in the form of weight training, cardiovascular training, or some other hybrid involving one or both. The resulting product is a body stressed beyond a "all systems OK" status. Truly, weight training is nothing more than ripping muscle fiber, and nourishing it so that it may repair and become stronger.

Consider, however, the mental aspect. Does this theory of inducing healthy stress and allowing some form of repair apply? Scott Peck (Ph. D in psychotherapy) seems to believe so.

It can become challenging to differentiate accomplishment from what is biologically commonplace. Scott Peck uses falling in love as an example. There is no inherent exertion required to fall in love. All of the necessary chemicals are latent within us to simply experience the phenomenon of falling in love without any cognitive effort required on our behalf to do so. In no way are we extending ourselves mentally or emotionally beyond our perceived limitations.

This isn't to downplay the majesty of the experience, but simply to say that falling in love is not in itself an incredibly noble endeavor. Wonderful, yes, but not exceptional in the sense of making an effort to better oneself.

We grow mentally and emotionally when we mindfully push the parameters of our minds outward. Consider the days in which you are not feeling particularly loving, or accepting, of the world around you. This is show time. This is the time when the boundaries can be pushed. We are not simply at the whim of our minds. Just because we feel the impulse of callousness, does not mean we must carry on in this way. True growth will occur if you can work against this feeling and attempt to love or understand despite your present disposition.


Think of it as exercise for the mind. In order to get better, we must feel worse. We must make a true effort - the equivalent of running miles - mentally. To become wiser and more understanding of the world around you, this means erasing the lines of demarcation within your mind. When you say, "I am not a pickles person," you are boxing only yourself in. It may feel protective but it is only a disservice to your personal growth. (I realize pickles is a very pedantic example of this.)

Today, try pickles, even if begrudgingly. There is a popular saying, "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything." This, again, is a refuge and safehouse for your mind. It is ultimately a stance which fosters ignorance. Though it is important to establish meaning in your life and forge values, we must have contingencies placed upon these values because life is not a solid state; it is very much fluid and ever-changing.

To be open minded, or to entertain opposing ideas within your own mind is more of a showing of mental strength and limit-pushing than holding fast to a static idea.

Growth requires pain, and this is true physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. True love does exist, but it exists only long after the new love energy subsides, and the chemical neurotransmitters abate to a normal state again. If you can find a way to enjoy his hobbies, or her friends, after the new love energy has faded away, that is an exercise of true love.

True love for oneself and true love for another are one in the same, and they require great mental efforts to achieve.

In summation, enjoy the act of falling in love but realize that there is work to be done when that feeling is gone away. There is no ceiling to our mental, emotional or spiritual capacities unless we self-impose them by drawing lines in the sand and never making the effort to step beyond them. Every time we are feeling bad, it is an opportunity to get better.

When I would have busy nights working on the ambulance on a 24 hour shift, and sleep was scarce, co-workers would say to me, "Ah, it builds character to be up all night!". And in many ways there was a lot of truth to that statement. Continually pushing past the boundaries of what you want to do will ultimately broaden said boundaries.