To Be Human Again.

When we are awash in the murk of perpetual thought, our minds can be taken to a place very far away from the present moment. Compound this condition with the fact that we exist in a culture which endorses evaluation of all things and we begin to lose our humanity. Deeply ingrained in the circuitry of our minds is the evaluation mechanism. We are cultured to evaluate the worth of all that we see as opposed to simply seeing an object for what it really is. In this way, the true beauty or majesty of said object may evade us as we are too busy deciding whether or not the object is worthwhile. Our minds, after some time, become similar to a filing cabinet and we tuck our surroundings into the good file, the bad file, or the indifferent file. Truly, our filing systems are much more vast than to have just three folders but you get the idea. Is it possible that we should cease evaluating each and every little thing? I think so. It is a very neurotic and taxing process in the first place. Perhaps we would be better off simply beholding the object for what it is. There is much peace to be gained when you simply behold life instead of judging or scoring it. When I rise from a recently completed sitting meditation session, I feel as close to being human as I will ever be. I feel raw and all sensory data is very new and wonderful to me. I am cleansed of predisposition and smiling is so easy. But it seems there is a half life to the effects of the sitting meditation session and so I have resolved to do them even more frequently. I believe my well being in Iraq may very well be determined by how well I keep good habits and maintenance of a mindful approach to living. I am equipped with all of the necessary tools to complete this contract and it is for that reason that I often repeat myself: do not worry for me, I will do fine. I don't fear and neither should you.