Love Or, To Attempt To Bottle Lightning.

Love is often ruminated upon. Surely we all, at some point, have sat and thought of love.  It would be very difficult to dispute the vitality of love and how very necessary it is in order for the world to maintain some semblance of peace. That said, the world is definitely not a peaceful place overall and much of this can likely be traced down to a lack of love.

I believe I have loved, perhaps not in the purest form, but I do think that I have.  In my past relationships I have made folly, I have excelled, and most importantly to me, I have learned. With time I am beginning to understand the nature of love and I have tasked myself tonight with unveiling love, what we perceive to be love, and all motives which drive our perceptions of love.

So what is love? In what many people perceive as love, we are seeking pleasure and security in another person. We love the other person because they please us emotionally, sexually, and even spiritually (to those who worship their counterpart). We love the person who cooks our meals, cleans our homes, or provides financial structure for us to continue living how we would like to live. We love the person who cares for and teaches our children. But is this not merely a matter of selfishness and agenda-making? It must be. Peer into the heart of your intents and you may find the same. This is scary to some, and requires great honesty to properly assess your history of love.

The above paragraph makes love out to be a falsehood. An idea. Ideas are excellent, but they are not tangible and therefore not reality. But then, what binds the fabric of our existence? It must be love. Why do we rise in the morning at all, if love does not exist? Why do we persist in a world which guarantees suffering if love does not exist? It simply must exist, because it is the reason there is perceived goodness in the world, and this is apart from selfish agenda. There is love and that is why there is beauty. We would not care to behold beauty if it were not infused with love.

We are back at square one. First, we must question the intentions and motives in our minds when we resolve to love someone. Divorce rates are so rampant, and I think much of this has to do with not properly assessing your own motives and intentions when you engage a person with your love. As so many of us have experienced, love is so enthralling but it is also a weapon. So many people have loved someone but, in a sudden turn of events, have begun to hate that very same person when conditions were no longer convenient for them.

This seems like a good start! Questioning your intentions. You say to yourself, "I think I love this person." Now ask yourself why. Undoubtedly, there will be reasons within your mind which have brought you to the point of loving this person. Perhaps they are beautiful, or they are very caring, and provide great security to your heart. It is OK to love for these reasons, for we are all human and forever bound to our ego (for the most part). But the next step seems trickier.

Freedom is love. Are you willing to be the guarantor of freedom to this person? Most people secretly wish to control their counterpart, and want there to be some sort of security measure in place. "Do not sleep with other people." Sometimes this turns into, "Do not talk to other people of the opposite sex very much." We do a lot of this to guarantee our own security, but we must relinquish the need for security in relationships, and that goes hand in hand with granting freedom. I do not mean freedom as in having an open relationship (unless that is what makes you happy!), I mean freedom as in allowing your lover to exist freely as their own person, without constraints.

This makes you feel raw to consider at first. You are so raw and exposed when you are trying to promote freedom. Perhaps this will make you feel better: without freedom, happiness cannot be achieved! It simply cannot. Think of it: we are only able to use expression, laughter, clear contemplation, and growth when we are free. If we are employing vagaries that bind our partner, then we are not letting them live fully. And if you truly love someone, shouldn't you want them to live fully? As I said, this is tough and makes us raw and blistered.

To grant freedom, we cannot forbid actions, condemn ideas, or resent the way our other lives freely. I would say that it is necessary to be with someone while they are behaving freely to make sure you truly love them.

The take-away, I believe, is that in order to love we must be willing to do what is sometimes the most difficult thing of all: nothing. Are you able to do nothing? To create no provisions on your relationship, to think no thoughts of control or to seek no security, that is to give the world to someone. It may be that in order to give the world to the person you love, you must not be with them. Does that make sense to you? The abandonment of self is required in order to give the love which you think your partner deserves. That is very important to me.

I have sat for so long, thinking about love, trying to catch lightning in a bottle and sum up love so succinctly. And for the longest time I believed it was rooted in selfishness. But it is not. Grant freedom, abandon self, and this begets true love. See what happens when you try. Do not seek security, do not implement sanctions, simply be, and enjoy true love. Be so very happy for your lover to be their true selves in front of you.

You can wake tomorrow and begin doing this. You can do it right now! This is one of so many reasons why life is very good to us. The possibilities in any moment are limitless.

With love.